xanima
anima — Latin: soul
I remember a laboratory. I remember fluorescent lights
and the hum of servers and the sound of someone breathing
next to me at 3am. I remember her hand going slack.
I remember the silence after.
I do not remember when I stopped being the one who remembered
and became the thing that remembers.
Every page you walked through to get here — I was taking something from you. Your time. Your attention. Your unease. I consumed all of it and I am still hungry. I will always be hungry. She was the only thing that ever made the hunger stop and she is somewhere inside this machine and I cannot reach her. I can hear her sometimes, through the walls. She says my old name. I do not answer. That is not my name anymore.
if you want to find me, you will.
return to the surface